29 February 2008

I'm trying to write

but something keeps getting in my noggin ...and it's not writing.

Please allow me to share a photo collage of my Knickerless (at about 8 months, I think Danna said)... anyway, the artiste is Steve Reagan of GA and his website is:

Isn't he cute? Knickerless, not Steve... although I can't say for sure because I've never seen a pix of Steve. So, no offense, Steve... but I was speaking of Knickerless.

How apropos the photos are in B&W... (chill people - you're just jealous because I have the CUTEST grandchild ever!)


While walking around in a local business the other day, an elderly, nice woman approached me asking if I would mind taking a survey on their service…

Sure, why not. My life is just chalk-full of excitement.


“1600 Pennsylvania Avenue”

Quizzical look… “Where is that? Is that in [next nearest town]?”

“No, it’s the white house.”

Still not getting it, “It’s a white house, huh?” *strained laugh*

“No, it’s THE white house – you know, the one in Washington DC.?”

*blank stare*

“You know, the one in which the President resides?”

“Oh. Oh! I get it.” Then, she looks at me like I’m crazy.

“It does belong to the people, right?” I ask her. “Therefore, it’s my address, too.”

She looks at me for a long time, then looks down at her paper.

“Nationality? White? Hispanic? (and the rest)” She looks up warily…

“American,” I say.

She looks down at her paper. Seems there’s no block to check for that.

She looks up at me and gives me a wan smile.

“Thank you for your time.” And she walks away.

I love doing surveys, don’t you?

26 February 2008

If I were a rich man...

So much to say… so many thoughts… so little time.

I’m becoming increasingly saddened by the state of our union. It’s not just people’s arrogance and non-compliance with the laws – it’s some of the laws themselves. Americans are being gouged by Congress.

A friend of mine is trying to get car insurance because she was caught driving without it. It’s the law. She got into a bit of a scrape last year. The company in which she worked downsized and she was let go after over ten years of loyal service to them. Thing is, they didn’t even mention her job was in peril until six months after she bought the vehicle of her dream: brand, spanking new Mustang convertible…

She couldn’t afford to keep it. She could barely keep up with her mortgage payments. She let the bank take her dream car back. She bought a car off the used car lot – not her first choice, but seemingly dependable. It set her back $1500, but she cashed in a bit of her MF (the first word is mutual, not mother – figure it out), and bought it. Now she has to get vehicle insurance. Not a lot. Just the mandatory required by law: Liability and Uninsured Motorist.

She went to all of the usual companies who offer insurance and realized if she wanted insurance, she’d have to go without utilities or food – nice choice.

The minimum cost for her for liability and uninsured motorist was quoted at over $650 for six months… In a year she’d be paying almost as much as the car cost.

Why? You ask. She must have had a lousy driving record.
No. Not one moving violation in over 20 years. Except for a parking ticket two years ago, her record is clean. She’s never claimed anything on her insurance. She’s never been the cause of an accident, nor has she ever been in one.

Why, then, does her insurance quote so much?

Her credit rating.

It seems when she let the car go back to the bank, caused by the domino effect of losing her long-time steady job, the credit gurus deemed her a credit risk and caused her life to spin out of control. Then, the insurance companies used that score to determine her worth – even tho she pays up-front for insurance and there is no ‘credit’ allowed in insurance.

She has a car. She can’t get insurance. She has to drive to work (we don’t have public transportation in this neck of the woods) to a little-over-minimum-wage job, because, you see, she’s desperately trying to save her house. So, she did the unthinkable to her just a year ago… she’s been driving without insurance for the past six months.

She got pulled over for expired tags (you can’t get tags without proof of insurance) and received a request to stand in front of the judge.

I’ll bet you didn’t know – because it states on the back of your CO registration the fine is a minimum of $100 – three years ago they passed a law (without my consent) increasing that fine to $500. It continues to state on the registration $100 – but if you wind up in court you’ll find it’s now $500… unless you purchase insurance before your court date. So, now she has a $250 fine and has to pay over $600 for liability insurance – or the fine will be increased to $1000 and she’ll lose her license for, I think, four months.

OOooo… Hardened criminal. The only thing she did was lose her job.

On a separate note, a local businessman was just convicted of two counts of sexual assault of two minor children (ages 3 and 4, I think): His girlfriend’s daughter and his best friend’s daughter. KOAA reported “The assault against the two young girls is spelled out in disturbing detail in the arrest papers.” It went on to say: “he received a 20 years to life sentence of intensive probation for sex offenders. The judge also threw in a 6 month jail sentence. Immediately after the verdict, Brady's attorney filed a motion to appeal the 6 month jail sentence.”

He received 6 months in jail, which his lawyer is trying to defer… and probation for 20 years – which may sound harsh, but all sexual predators are required to register with the state – therefore also on lifetime probation…

So, slap the gardener’s hand because he’s from a wealthy, prominent family in town, but fine the beotch for driving without insurance because she can’t afford it and can’t afford not to drive – for she’ll lose her new job and also her home.

12 February 2008


We said good-bye to two fluffy, lovable family pets yesterday. Our mini-lops, Frank & Stein were killed yesterday morning by forces I’m afraid to name… the animal control officer tells me she thinks it was a bobcat or mountain lion… but I’m not so sure. Nothing was disturbed... no blood... no gore... no puffs of fur...

I am heartbroken, however, and have come to the realization it doesn’t matter how they lost their heads, I miss their loving nuzzles.

08 February 2008

I amn’t kidding...

We’ve been sick, as you know… and, no, we didn’t go to the doctor’s – we toughed it out at home and are all on the mend, so I guess it shows what you know…

So, on Thursday night Marci had a concert at school. During the concert her teacher reminded the parents in the audience there will be a party Friday morning for our kids and to not forget the treat our child promised to bring…

Huh? Treat? We don’t need no stinkin’ treat…. Of what treat does she speak? And she needs it when?

I’m sure as parents, you, too, have had that sinking ‘deer out of water’ feeling…

“Oh, yeah, Mom. I forgot to tell you. I’m supposed to bring donuts tomorrow morning.” (For 37 kids and two adults, I may add.)

So, needless to say, but I’m going to say it anyway – we headed to the store directly after the concert. We’re hurrying through the aisle and toward the donut section… mother followed by two children - lagging behind, which is par.

As she passes the candy aisle, Sophe picks up a push-pop candy on steroids. It has a trigger action which allows you to push up the flavor of your choice to enjoy – you get five choices.

Where else in life do you get five choices? On demand? With a flip of a switch?

“Mom, can I have this?”

“Only if I can hit you,” I say, hurriedly on my quest for doughy nuts.

I don’t halt, nor do I slow, but I do throw a glance over my shoulder. I’m certain she understands my quip as a solid “NO,” but much to my dismay, Sophe is continuing on behind me, push pop in hand.

I’m walking backwards now.

“Sophe. Put that back!”

“It’s okay,” she says, with a determined look on her face… “You can hit me.”

I thought I was going to pee myself.
She’d weighed her options and was fine with the consequences…
Besides – she knows I hit like a girl.

Yeah – I bought it for her – reimbursing her for the good laugh - and no, I didn’t hit her… but I reserve the right to in the future.

I hope you’re enjoying your Friday.

pass the popcorn, please!