She's telling me the compromises she's had to make ...and the added benefits he receives for the child he denied having until the DNA tests proved him - and his mother - wrong.
Where does his mother fit in, you ask? That was my question, too.
Anyway, it got me started thinking ...yeah, that whole thinkin' thing again... as she was telling me now that he knows her child is his, he wants her child every other Thanksgiving and every other Christmas... and a month every summer... but balks at paying 'her' any kind of child support or back-support for this child.
"Who should I make the check out to?"
I think "The Whore Who Mothered My Child" would be a tad too much...
Why is it so many non-custodial parents want to be the 'Disneyland Parent' and don't like the money aspect of child support? They want to buy the ice cream and visit all of the area attractions and show their children a really good time (tm) the entire twenty days of their yearly parental participation. But bugger their children the other 345 days per year. Meanwhile, we, the custodial parent, get to use all of our income on rent/mortgage, insurance, medicine, child care, car, utilities, clothing, food and school supplies/fundraisers. We don't have extras for 'fun' stuff, exciting places or ice cream. How dare we ask for some kind of monetary support! Gold-digging beotches, anyway!!
A real 'fair' sharing of parental responsibilities/visitation would be listed more like this:
You get them every other Flu/Cold ailment.
You get them every other 5-8 hour doctor visit for routine examinations.
You get them every other serious illness/injury or surgery (ear tubes, tonsillectomy, etc.).
You get them every other braces realignment.
You get them every other fit, shouting match and meltdown.
You get them every other parent/teacher conference or PTO meeting.
You get them every other sibling rivalry dispute over the stupid, little, plastic 'made in China' infantile toy you gave them last Christmas when you didn't have them.
Every other time the school calls and our child needs to be picked up, you get to take the time off from work, you get to explain to your boss why, and you get to pick up our child from school/daycare and take them to the doctor's for meds - and you get to stay up with them all night, cleaning up their puke and poop and snot. You get to try to bring the fever down and you get to worry if you can't.
Every other time the school has an awards ceremony, you get to attend the entire 2 hour program to watch our child for the 2 seconds they're on stage - if at all.
Every other time the school calls with disciplinary/education problems, you get to talk to the principal and teacher and nurse and parent of the other child.
You get to nag at our children to clean their room every other time it's needed.
Every other day you get to nag our children to brush their teeth and hair and take a shower and wash behind their ears and put their dirty clothes in the wash.
...And every other week you get to do their laundry.
You get to hear them complain every other time they're told to turn off the TV and do their homework.
You get to deal with the school bully every other time our child is tormented.
You get to hear our child every other time they say the world isn't fair.
Every other time they ask if they can go to the movies or out to dinner, you get to tell them I don't have the money for it.
You get to hold them every other time their best friend/boyfriend breaks their heart and tell them "this too shall pass" and "if she/he can't see what a wonderful person you are, she/he doesn't deserve you."
And you get to wait and worry every other time they're 20 minutes late.
Every other time someone invites you out for one thing or another, you get to decline because you can't find (or afford) a decent babysitter.
And, every other time someone invites me out for one thing or another, you get to find and pay for a babysitter so I can go out...
NCP wants the December 25ths and third Thursdays of November. We get to have them the 21st of April. You're right. That's not any special day. But what we know and NCP doesn't is:
The date doesn’t matter - Christmas, Thanksgiving or April 21st. Any day spent with our child - this wonderful soul - is Thanksgiving. And every morning kiss is a Christmas present.
NCP will never figure that one out, will s/he?