16 December 2007

Purple Mountains

I hate going out. I don’t mean on a date – I mean to town.

So much road rage… tailgating… all that honking... and those hand gestures!

I really need to stop that kind of behavior – I’m an adult, after all.

But I found myself out in town yesterday, driving down our main street. I looked beyond the mundane and saw the mountains majestic. They filled my spirit; brought me home in my soul.

Enjoy your life today… and don’t forget to look beyond the mundane.
In Joy,

Pike's Peak from the San Isabel National Forest

11 December 2007


...someone to teach me how to 'gallivant' - I've been accused of gallivanting in the past, and would at least like to do it correctly.

Apply within (or without).

Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!

06 December 2007

Meet my girlies

We've known each other long enough. It's time to meet my children.

Not in order of appearance, but rather listed in order by age: Diana, Tahna, Paige, Marci & Sophe.

Aren't they the most beautiful girls you've ever seen?

Yeah, me too.

Thanks for playing.


04 December 2007

Sandy Really

Another story for y'all - I'm having a bad personal day and really shouldn't write anything lest I find myself arrested for slander. I hope you enjoy my story.

In Joy,

(A Modern Day Cinderella)

Not yesterday...
But, a while ago...
There was a plain, ordinary little girl. Her blonde hair played wildly on her head, making it impossible to tame. Freckles sprayed her cheeks and nose like paint.
An unremarkable girl in all respects.
And, her name was Sandy Really.
Sandy Really lived on the outskirts of a small, rundown town in an adequate but small, rundown house in the middle of a small, rundown field. In fact, everything about the Wyoming town was rundown… the pool, the school, the store… everything!
Sandy Really’s mother did her best to make their rundown house a comfortable home. She sewed curtains from bright purple, green and pink material. She taught Sandy Really how to sew, and together they mended and brightened up the place.
Mrs. Really also cooked the most wonderful treats and meals. She soon taught Sandy to cook, too, telling her that someday, somewhere, Sandy Really would make a Good Wife.
Sandy Really learned to scrub and clean the rundown house into a shiny rundown home.
She planted beautiful flowers and bushes to cover the cracks in the sidewalks and walls outside their home.
She painted stems over the cracks on the walls inside and painted beautiful flowers to match the brilliant curtains.
Sandy Really knew what made things beautiful, and spent her days growing up practicing her art.
There was nothing Sandy Really couldn’t do. Like her mom, she could build and paint. She could mend and sew. She knitted. She washed. She planted and gardened and cooked what she grew into tasty treats. The Really’s home glowed with love.

One day not long ago...
But, not yesterday...
Mrs. Really told her daughter to leave their home to find a partner in life. She said the best place to find a partner to love and respect you for what you are is in college.
So, at the age of 17, like most girls, Sandy Really scolded her hair with a brush, covered her freckles with brown face paste and headed off to college.
She drank in the knowledge of books and listened carefully to men and women in long robes who spoke of things she’d never even imagined.
She didn’t look hard for a partner in life, but every time she talked to her mother, she heard how important it was to find the perfect one.
Right before she left the college with a diploma, Sandy Really realized she had failed her mother. She had knowledge, but not a partner in life.
She didn’t have much time. School would soon be done and everyone would be going home. She’d go back to her small, rundown house in the middle of a small, rundown field on the outskirts of the small, rundown town in Wyoming… where finding a partner in life would be next to impossible.
Sandy Really took her head from her books and looked around.
People were everywhere.
They were learning.
They were laughing and talking.
They shared ideas like the men and women in long robes who taught her. She joined in and soon found herself in a group of people called friends.
Sandy Really never had friends before and was thrilled with the feeling. She spoke and they listened. They spoke and she listened. Sometimes they disagreed. Sometimes they agreed. But always they smiled and shared and allowed other thoughts and feelings from all. Sandy Really started learning more about life from these talks than she did from her mother, or the men and women in long robes.
Tom Tiddle was one of these friends. Tom Tiddle made a special effort to stand next to Sandy Really. Tom listened and agreed with everything Sandy said. Soon Sandy found herself alone with Tom and felt something she had never felt before. Tom was rich and smart… everything Mrs. Really had said Sandy Really wanted in a partner in life.
And, before she knew it, Sandy Really was Mrs. Tiddle.
Mrs. Tiddle found herself in a beautiful house with no need for paint.
There were no cracks in the walls, inside or out.
None in the sidewalks.
No place to plant food or flowers. There were other people in the house to take care of things like that.
Mrs. Tiddle was not allowed to paint, but she was allowed to cook. Mrs. Tiddle cooked the most incredible meals for Tom Tiddle. And, she was allowed to sew, so she sewed the most elaborate robes for him. She was allowed to clean, so she kept his house spotless and did everything her mother taught her to keep her partner happy.
And, Tom Tiddle was happy.
But, Mrs. Tiddle was not.
Nobody spoke to her anymore. No one listened to what she said. Mrs. Tiddle was lonely in her beautiful house full of people.
Mrs. Tiddle’s fingers were sore at the end of the day from mending Tom Tiddle’s favorite clothes. Her back was sore from polishing his floor into the shine he prided. Her fingers were burnt from making his favorite meals in the oven.
Mrs. Tiddle sat on the couch next to Tom Tiddle and snuggled up to his side. Tom pushed her away and said the game was about over but could you be a dear and get me a snack?
Yes, Mrs. Tiddle was a good partner, but Tom Tiddle was not.
The day came when Sandy found herself back in the small, rundown house in the middle of the small, rundown field on the outskirts of the small, rundown town in Wyoming.
She had given Tom Tiddle back his name and returned to being just Sandy Really.
Sandy Really liked being home at first. Then she became sad and lonely. She missed the big, beautiful home Tom Tiddle had given her. She yearned to talk to friends again.
Mrs. Really saw Sandy’s pain and told her daughter to go to the city to find a job and maybe a new and different partner in life.

A while ago...
But, not yesterday...
Sandy Really set off for the big city. At first she was afraid because she left the small, rundown town on a small, rundown bus, but as the bus got closer and closer to the big city, Sandy Really thought the city looked a lot like her old rundown town, just bigger...
Much bigger.
The bus station in the city was as rundown as the one in her rundown town, just bigger...
Much bigger.

Sandy Really found a small, rundown apartment in the city next to a small, rundown restaurant where she found a job. She went from table to table and got people what they asked for.
If they were nice people, they left her spare change.
If they weren’t, they left her nothing.
Luckily for Sandy Really, most of the people who ate at the restaurant were nice and soon Sandy Really had a decent apartment, filled with little trinkets to make her happy.

In the small, rundown restaurant next to her small, rundown apartment worked a cook named Gary Goodness. Sandy Really liked Gary Goodness. He made her laugh until she couldn’t stand up. Gary lived in a small, rundown apartment next to hers and soon they became good friends. They went to the movies together and talked all night long about what Gary thought was right with the world. And, just like the last time, before she knew what happened Sandy Really was Mrs. Goodness.
Now, strange things happen to some people when they find themselves with just any old partner. Mrs. Goodness knew Tom Tiddle had changed, but she never thought Gary Goodness would.
But, he did.
He liked to drink brown liquid from a bottle, and when he did it a lot, Gary Goodness became bad. Gary broke Mrs. Goodness’ little trinkets. He yelled names at her and sold most of her things for more of the bottled brown liquid. At night, Mrs. Goodness was not only sore from working, cooking and cleaning, but also from the bruises and marks Gary Goodness left on her when he had too much of the brown liquid.
Mrs. Goodness was lonely. She didn’t have anyone to talk to.
And, she was scared.
Sandy gave Gary Goodness his name back.
But, Sandy Really did not go back to the small, rundown house in the middle of the small, rundown field on the outskirts of the small, rundown town in Wyoming. Instead, she found a nice apartment in a pretty part of the city and started working in a tall building down the block. She had gone to college, after all, and could use what she learned at her new job. She liked the people there and enjoyed talking with them.
She soon forgot all about Tom Tiddle and Gary Goodness.
Sandy Really worked hard at the job she loved and soon had a beautiful house of her own. It had no cracks, but she still painted flowers on the walls. She could afford curtains, but she sewed her own out of purple, green and pink material anyway. She didn’t need them, but she planted a garden of vegetables and grew flowers, too.
She let her hair play wildly on her head and stopped covering her freckles with brown face paste.
Sandy Really was happy for the first time since she left her small, rundown home in the middle of the small, rundown field on the outskirts of the small, rundown town in Wyoming.

Not yesterday...
But, before...
Sandy Really wasn’t looking for a partner in life anymore, but she met someone anyway. Robbie Reliable worked next to Sandy in the big office building. They became good friends and soon Robbie moved into Sandy’s beautiful home.
This time, Sandy Really stayed Sandy Really.
And, Robbie remained Reliable.

Robbie and Sandy both cooked when they wanted to eat. And, they both cleaned when they needed to clean. They painted and planted and shared ideas. And, they laughed together. And, they smiled together. And, sometimes they cried together, but not for long. Robbie and Sandy’s home glowed with love.
Sandy then knew what her mother meant when she told her to go out and find a partner in life. And, Sandy knew Robbie was the right partner for her.

But, to this day...
Yes, even yesterday...
Remarkably, she is still just Sandy.

03 December 2007

Green Me!

Hey! I just came up with a fantastical idea.

You know how America is now the #1 leading ‘developed country’ in green-house gas emissions? At least that’s what they said on NPR this morning… oh, watch out – here comes a tangent – Is America #1 in green-house gas emissions, or just #1 in developed countries? If it’s the latter – that really isn’t telling us much. What country over-all emits the most green-house gasses? And, how do you know that?
Anyway, I was thinking – and those of you who read my blogs know this can be a very dangerous pastime – What if the greenies of America, like the celebutards and movie stars find themselves trying to jump on the King of Green’s bandwagon (that would be Ed Begley, Jr.) and don’t know quite how to go about it? I have a plan. Muahahahaha!

Celebutard ‘A’ takes the money she would have spent to buy PUS child ‘B’ - from some country we’ve yet to pronounce correctly, but is in dire need of - a laptop – and puts it into greening-up a house in a neighborhood near you. They could even make a ‘reality TV show’ about it. You know, solar panels, windmills, gardens – the whole nine yards (which is a real oogy military term relating to shooting off all the rounds of ammunition, but that’s not the topic today, so get on with it), and in the process one more American home is conformed to saving the planet – one house at a time.

You may say, “Yes, but then American family ‘C’ whom just had their house redone by Celebutard ‘A’ will only sell said house with the benefit of just had been worked on by said celebutard…" to which I say, “Does it matter? The house is still ‘green’ and living off the grid – better for all of us in the long run.”

That way all of these people with disposable incomes can really make a difference in the land they proclaim to love… well, at least love enough to find the loop-holes in tax breaks… HEY! Even better… we could figure out a way that doing this “Green Me – Green My House” TV Show could be tax-deductable to Daddy Greenbucks… instead of taking 1% of their income outside our borders to help children get laptops. (This also helps out those of us who are truly wanting to get off the grid and become solar/wind efficient, but will never make enough money in our lifetime to succeed in that particular dream.)

Which brings me to another question: If I make $23K a year, and give twenty percent of that to a charity, and Paris Hilton only gives 1% of her daddy’s income… who is giving more and who is more giving? On the surface, looking only at the amount of money given, it would seem Paris is both… but, even if I gave it all, Paris would still be giving more – just by giving 1% - yet, I’ve given (hypothetically) all I have to give… and those who ‘have’ have only given 1%... which is close to nothing, comparatively. Just laptops (I mean food) for thought.

Anyway – back to “Green Me – Green My House” – Movie Stars and Celebutards alike can really make a difference – and the show can be hosted by the King of Green himself. What do you say, Ed? Are you up for it?

(I want royalties for the idea – don’t worry – 1% of Angelina Jolie’s annual income will be fine. – Please make that tax-free. Thanks.)

pass the popcorn, please!