15 February 2015

Time to be Happy

It's been a while. How've you been? Have you got the time... to listen to another of my ponderings?

Today is the day after Valentine's Day, or what I now like to call, "Singles' Awareness Day" thanks to Facebook.  Thoughts are muddling around in my head like cattle to the slaughter.

I'll leave that up to your imagination.

Mostly, I've been thinking about relationships, and why some work out while others don't.

I recently read an article from Psychology Today: The Vampire's Bite, and it cleared up some of my misconceptions.  

For the longest time I thought I may be lacking some funda-mental part of my psyche which doesn't allow me to have a normal, functional, romantic relationship. 

Maybe in past relationships I saw mutual attraction that wasn't there. Maybe I was looking through rose-colored glasses. Maybe I wanted so much to not be alone, I made up this person's affections for me...

Well, apparently...

...and chances are, neither are you.

Consider this (from the above article):

     "If some man were to say to your daughter: 'Here's the deal, sweetie. For several months or so, I'm going to pretend to be everything you ever wanted. I'll shower you with attention, affection and all manner of stuff to make you feel special. Then, once I know you're depending on me as your significant other, and have made a commitment, I'm going to quit pretending and be who I really am. I'm going to start treating you really badly. I'll say insensitive things, I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll be really cruel, possibly humiliate you in public.'

     "If your daughter whipped out the pen to ink the deal, you'd smack her and say, ‘What are you, NUTS? This guy's a lunatic!!!’ Right? But that IS the deal. That is the contract. If that contract wouldn't be nearly good enough for your daughter, why would it be good enough for you?"

I'll take mental abuse for life, Alex...

Take heart the temporarily loveless of you out there. Because sometimes, just sometimes, it isn't you. 

You deserve a significant other who's not mental and who'll treat you with kindness and respect. Don't forget that. Be patient; that person is out there. Who knows? You may already know them. It's time to be happy.

And, have a happy Half-Priced Chocolate Day.

Enjoy & In Joy

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pass the popcorn, please!