26 February 2011

Half Life

There are some pretty sick people out there.
I most recently found out someone came across this blog accidentally. They'd put "daughter jacks off dad" in the search engine and one of the results came back, "My Daughter, Jack"  Not really sorry to have disappointed them. Not at all.
Sick people.
Sick, sick people.

...and y'all thought I was crazy.
Where's CPS when you need them? Oh, yeah. Sitting with the CHP and other bloated governmental acronyms (ICE?), waiting for a real non-emergent "situation" to don their blood-red capes and strike with their poison pens.
...always in search of just... erm, I mean, the Easy Job!
Hey! Some dude is searching the web for a daughter beating off her dad... Who ya gonna call?

...sorry, all circuits are busy. Please try your call again later.
Oh, well. Probably just a family court judge or CPS case worker... or foster parent ...or preacher... or teacher... or uncle... or dad looking to get his rocks off...

...no real threat there.

Anyway, I've been listening to a lot of people in my circle of existence complain about their significant others.  I understand much of their frustration - being married is ... hard. Especially when your partner doesn't. (partner)

I promise. No instruction manual needed.  Not kidding.
The perfect relationship, IMHO, would be equal partnership.  Not one person doing all of one chore all the time - that gets tedious.  You need to mix it up a bit.

One woman told me her husband does all the cooking...
I like to cook, but really would like to do only half the cooking. I can imagine hubby feels the same way.

reminding you to not take advantage of another's kindness...

One woman said her husband does all the financials and grocery shopping.
That would work for me because... really, how much more time and less wrinkles would you have if you didn't have to worry your pretty little head about making the paycheck stretch to the end of the month, or clipping coupons to save a buck here or there?  Then Practical Sandi rears her ugly head, and I'm reminded to put all financial eggs in one basket, where only one partner knows the ins-and-outs is really not the smartest way to go. What if something were to happen to your partner? Would you know how to pick up the pieces and continue on? I mean, you'd certainly know how to pay a bill, but would you know the investments side? No. I think remaining in control of your finances alongside your partner, albeit boring and stress-inducing, is pragmatic and sensible.

One woman said her husband does all the cleaning and laundry.
That really works for me... but I'm not too sure it's fair to hubby.  Why should one soul pick up after another, regardless of gender?

Oh, Hell! I don't know what I'm talking about. I've never had an equal partnership in any romantic relationship in my life. I don't know why I said "romantic" just now, either... there was very little of that in any of my ... other relationships.

You seem to either get an overbearing partner who wants things done his way - but wants you to do them... HIS way.
Sir, Yes Sir!!
Or, you get a partner who's non-participating and doesn't care if or when anything gets done. "You want it clean? You clean it. You want to eat? You cook it. You want clean clothes? You warsh 'em. I'm just happy as a clam, sitting on this old beat-up couch, in front of this crappy television, in this messy living room, drinking this cold beer... Be a good wife and grab me another one, would ya? And, this time open it before you hand it to me."
I just can't seem to get away from him.
I am really so very jealous of women who have a loving husband or boyfriend who accepts them for who they are, dotes on them, rubs their feet, talks kindly to and of them... and shares half the load. Not half the chores, equally divided out - but half of every chore. And, half the joy, half the pain, half the sorrow, half the laughter. too.

...is this really just a fantasy of mine?
I sat, listening to a woman complain about how her husband was taking a job which would take him away from her for months at a time.  Military spouses, you know that drill, right? It's a hard life and I totally understand the pain. You're left at home doing all the stuff needing to be done. There're no halvesies here. 100% of the home front responsibilities are 100% on you. No surprises - you signed up for it.

The kicker... the kicker... just two weeks before, I listened to that same woman complain if her husband didn't find a job soon she was going to scream. Changes needed to be made, dammit!!

a real "damned if you do, damned if you don't" moment
In a perfect world, hubby would get a job close to home where they can co-exist, carrying half of every load.
Life isn't perfect. Jobs are hard to come by, I'm told.
Her choices are to continue to carry 100% of the financial burden until a job for him closer to home opens and be responsible for only 50% of the home front burdens, or to begin carrying 100% of the home front burdens and share half the financial burden with her husband, who'll be away most of the time.

I wanted to point out to her when you're a single mom...

Never mind.
Enjoy & In Joy.


Anonymous said...

Can't comment now, my Zombie Lord awaits....

Anonymous said...

Happy, happy Ms. Tahna. Love you.

Anonymous said...

Military spouses and single parents are kind of in the same boat, huh? My heart goes out to all. Your thoughts right on the money. Kind of puts things in perspective and reminds us all to be happy for the things that are going right in our lives. Hang in there, as you always, this too shall pass.

zirelda said...

Too funny.

And so true.

We are never happy are we? It's the human condition to always want more even when what we have is sufficient.

Happy birthday to Ms. Tahna.

Sandra Miller Linhart said...

Even I, the (im)perfecto one :o), am guilty of that.

"It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got"

also brings to mind: be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!


Sandra Miller Linhart said...

FYI - I removed comments not relevant to this post - which is about carrying half the load in a healthy relationship.

Sorry, guys, this blog's my place to rant. Make your own blog if ya wanna whine about me!

In Joy!

pass the popcorn, please!