27 March 2010

And, I know how to use a saw...

"...because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me. Because of you, I am afraid.  I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake a smile; a laugh every day of my life. My heart can't possible break when it wasn't even whole to start with..."

Love that song...

Yes, I am listening to music while typing, why do you ask?  Now... what was I going to tell you today? Oh, yeah.  Self-sufficient, smart women...

In my world, a self-sufficient, smart woman who takes personal responsibility for her actions ought to be at the top of the "desirable" list.  Society ought to celebrate these women, regardless of their waist size or bra size... or how hawt others deem them to be.

"I have a dream that my five little girls will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their hair, or the size of their boobs... but by the content of their character."

Oh! I got off track. Sorry about that - I tend to do so... often. What is this blog about, you ask? Get to the point, you say! Here it is:

I am surrounded by what one may consider attractive women (and some not so attractive... some downright frumpy-dumpy), who are otherwise charming and engaging and pretty... until they open their mouths to speak, that is.

You know, I can plaster my walls, change my oil, change a flat, grow a garden, nurse a baby back to health, clean my house and all things in it, bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man, 'cuz I'm a woman... (heh - you may not be old enough to remember that commercial)... I can install a ceiling fan, unplug a drain, sew clothing, bake cakes, take out set-in stains... like blood... not that I've ever needed to... that you know... I can rake, mow, clip, trim, tile, glue, hammer, nail, sand, paint... and I know how to properly use a saw...

...I also know if you're gonna use "seen" in your sentence instead, you always - without exception - have to use an auxiliary verb with it.

Everybody knows this, right? I mean, we learned this crap in 4th or 5th grade, right? After all, it's not rocket surgery!  (Side note - when my older girls were in high school and they came home with an "A" in French class, I'd ground them... because they brought home a lesser grade in English. heh. And, I wonder why they hate me. No. I'm not being serious. It's called a joke, people!)

English. The language of the free, home of the brave.

I know you were teached correctly. I seen you sitting right there beside me in class; I seen the teacher write it on the board more then once... right before we done gone outside fer recess... Ain't I beautimous?  I seen you lookin' at me. *wink, wink*

Who needs to use brains when you gots the parts with which all the boys want to tinker?

Yeah. I know how to use a saw... for all the good it does me. ;o)

In Joy & Enjoy

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pass the popcorn, please!