01 May 2008

MRT for today

I ordered a pizza from Domino’s last night. I asked for it to be delivered – one of the little perks in life and the only place which delivers any kind of (dare I call it food?) edible sustenance in my little town. The young man (by the sound of his voice) who called himself Joe asked if I would be paying with Cash, Check or Charge.

I told him I’d have to see what the damages were before I made that decision, but probably cash…

He read back over my order and gave me a grand total of…

I said I’d have to pay with check as I had just enough and not any for tip.

“Wait a minute, then. If you pay with check it’s 25¢ more.”


“What? Why?”

“Because that’s what our manager makes us charge for checks…”

“Tell your manager I think s/he’s an idiot!”

“I don’t think I should do that.” I think that’s what he said anyway – he was laughing kinda hard.

“Oh... no... maybe you shouldn’t.”

Did you know they add a delivery fee and tip to your total?

Nope, me neither….

When the girl delivered the pizza to my door, I told her I was very sorry, but I would have to charge her a porch fee of $1… A strange expression crossed her face, not sure if I joked... and asked me why. I said:

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were all now practicing levying arbitrary fees for obscure reasons.”

We went to the local carnival and I ordered one small drink for $2 - for the girlies.

The pimply-faced girl behind the counter informed me they didn’t have small drinks.

I inquired as to why they had ‘small’ indicated on their menu board.

She repeated they didn’t have any small drinks... as they didn’t have any small cups.

I looked at the price of a medium – which was $3… and said “How convenient,” and ordered a medium.

She handed me a huge, Styrofoam cup with no lid… (hasn’t anyone told these people about Styrofoam and our environment?)

“Do you have any lids?”


“Oh, how inconvenient! For three dollars, you think you could afford to give me a lid.”

“We only have lids for the small cups,” she said.

And you wonder why I’m glad I’m not from this planet.
In Joy & Enjoy


Sandra Miller Linhart said...

Isn't today "May Day"? Kinda went by the way-side, as they say in Wyoming, didn't it?
Where are my flowers?
Where's that damned pole to dance aroung? (not that kind of pole dancing, you pervert!!)

I noticed some people are marching in the streets of California today, trying to get equal rights as illegals... huh?

You all have the right to become citizens.

Why do we celebrate Cinco De Mayo in America? Does any other country celebrate the 4th of July...?Canada? Mexico?

What's going on? I mean, what THE HELL is going on?

Where am I and how did I get in this hand basket?

James A. Bowders said...

I think we could start today as...

Dear Stephen King,

But what do I know?

Sandra Miller Linhart said...

How true... How true. Especially since it's snowing today, enough to close down I70W. It was over 80F yesterday and over 50 degrees cooler this morning...
and the coastal workers are going postal by continuing the ruination of our economy by forming a sit-out against the war - causing the goods on ships to remain on ships - ensuring an increased cost of goods and spoilage of foods - all for their own political reasons/gains - to what ends? Higher than higher prices for Americans. Thousands of truck drivers, who are already hurting because of gas prices, are caused to sit and wait for goods to transfer, undoubtedly will be fined for various reasons (parking, late delivery, spoilage, and whatever else I can't even imagine)
What a nation of idiots we're becoming.
and not only of yourselves, for once

pass the popcorn, please!