15 May 2008

Don't they have a drug for that?

I read in the paper today... or was it yesterday? ...more than one half of all insured Americans are taking prescription medicines regularly for chronic health problems.

Let me be the first to congratulate all the pharmaceutical companies: You're almost there.

I remember about two years ago an inner-office memorandum of the largest pharmaceutical company leaked from under their child-proof cap. In it, the company bragged about their far-reaching, lucrative poisons... er, medications. They went on to say it was their goal every man, woman and child in America be on at least three prescription drugs by 2010. The kicker was they bragged about making one drug dependent on another.  (i.e., when you take prescription A for heart problems, it will cause diarrhea. Therefore, we offer prescription B for the diarrhea... unfortunately it may cause sleep disorders. But not to worry, we've come up with prescription C to combat the sleep disorders... just don't forget to pick up prescription D to deal with your gambling and sexual activities caused by prescription C, and you may want to ask your doctor about prescription E, as D causes...). And the beat goes on.

So, again. Congrats, legal drug pushers. You're almost there. You and the insurance companies make quite a team.

I wonder how my great-grandmother lived to be 102? oh, yeah. She refused to take any medicines for anything, save aspirin, and ate meat and potatoes every day of her life. Sure, her ankles were huge, but she was 'all there' until the day she died.

I heard on the news last night the preteens and teenagers are trying a 'new' way to get high. I guess they drink a bottle of Robitussin DM with tablets of Coricidin HBP Cough and Cold - both OTC medicines. Brilliant! I just came across a number of postings from college students who reported the effects and benefits of such practice. Bottom line - it's a cheap and easy high. One student reported feeling disoriented and 'out of control' with painful itching, hot flashes, vomiting, and lived in a 2D world for awhile, but, what the hell, she was willing to do it again. The doctor says it does the same as PCP to the brain and blood stream. He said it increases the heart rate to a dangerous level and causes hallucinations. It also causes irreparable kidney, liver and brain damage. Cool! It may kill you and definitely damages your brain, but, hey, it's only a brain. If you're thinking of poisoning yourself with this shit or any other kind of drug, you're really not using your brain for anything anyway. No great loss. Maybe you can successfully kill yourself before you can procreate.

Only in America are the pharmaceutical companies allowed to advertise prescriptions on TV and other media. Only in America are they allowed to practice such irresponsible and reckless behavior.

It wasn't very long ago the predecessors of our medical communities were handing out Opium and Laudanum, etc., to pregnant women, mothers, infants and children. They prescribed cigarettes to calm nerves, small doses of arsenic to calm stomach pains and variations of other lethal 'snake oils' to a trusting society.

I wonder what we'll know tomorrow about the poisons they vend today.

In Joy & Enjoy


James A. Bowders said...

As a public service announcement…no not really. But what the heck, Lets have some equal time for the email spammers. Here is my contribution, and to think you can say you saw it here first.


The FDA has announced that all the drugs open in the market claiming to provide Male Enhancement or the Enlargement of that certain part of the male anatomy is all false.

The only product that does work is VAGI-SMALL. This is a product made from 100% percent imaginary natural herbs and spices combined with a special touch of a virtual hormone designed to reduce the size of a woman’s Vagina. Women aren’t you tired of your man dropping his garden hose into your Grand Canon? Men, aren’t you fed up with feeling like you have a length of string in a well? It is time to stop wishing. With new VAGI-SMALL. Give your partner the trill they have been missing. But don’t do it for them, do it for yourself.

And each new spam can start with a catchy opening line like; “Make your man feel like a monster.”, and “Stoke his ego too”

Maybe in time it might catch on…

But what do I know?

Sandra Miller Linhart said...

Damn it! They don't work? I just ordered a gallon for my own male enhancement. I need to be more assertive ...and more facial hair can be a tad intimidating when dealing with civil servants and solicitors at your door.

And, now you tell me they don't work. Great!

Next you'll tell me I can't make money at home stuffing envelopes... I always wondered where 'they' wanted me to stuff said envelopes.

Enough! Don't go dashing any more of my hopes. It's only Monday. I have a whole week to get through!

pass the popcorn, please!