13 May 2008

Date me!

Lookit what I found on MSN.com:

How to date a divorced man
By Chelsea Kaplan

If you've just begun dating a divorced man, you may soon realize the "regular" dating rules don't always apply. Whether it's due to encounters with his ex, issues concerning his children or heavier-than-average baggage, dating a divorced man can be especially challenging. For tips on how to enjoy a fulfilling relationship with a divorced man, heed the advice of Dr. Christie Hartman, author of Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide if He's Right for You.

(And, do you know what? I'll add a few tidbits in case you're planning on dating my X. Ooohh, this'll be fun!!)
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Q: In which ways is dating a divorced man different than dating a man who has never been married?
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A: Divorced men have more baggage than never-married men. (Not necessarily. Just how old is this 'man' and has he been living with his mother for the past 50 years? Think Norman Bates.) And while baggage doesn't have to be a negative thing, it does create more challenges you will need to be prepared for. (I'm sorry, I had to take out all them unnecessary 'that's. Please excuse the intrusion. You won't even miss them, I promise.)

Q: Tell us about the specific challenges…
(please)
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A: Well, first and foremost, all divorced men have an ex-wife. (DUH!) Because marriage is such a serious commitment (should be, anyway), ex-wives tend to have more power than ex-girlfriends (NOT! especially while still married), even after the marriage ends. If they had kids together, she will always be in the picture (not always by her choice... no, really, feel free to keep me out of your relationship with him - just don't harm my children), feel protective toward her kids (DUH!), and feel she has certain privileges with him due to having had his children (Not on your life!). What's more, women without kids may be surprised by the amount of time and care children require (another DUH! but the extree time and care is allotted to the mom... me, in this case), which will influence the freedom the couple has (Wah, Ma-ma). Lastly, divorce can be financially devastating. On top of the actual divorce costs and having to split up all the family assets, divorced men may have child support or alimony obligations (Which he'll incessantly whine about to you even though he keeps more than 75% of his income for his little ol' self). These factors will influence his future - and his future with you (so you'd better have a really good paying job because the man is a skinflint and you won't even be able to attend the sticky theatre... um, dollar theatre? Discount theatre? You know, the one where you only have to pay a few buck to see the movie but the floor is always sticky from pop and candy - I hope - cuz they don't mop up... anyway, that one - he won't let you spend a few bucks on a movie... ever!).
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Q: When dating a divorced man, is there anything in particular women should be wary of (you should be wary of ending your sentences in prepositions)?
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A: Women should definitely be on the lookout for a guy who's not yet over his marriage (run, girls, don't walk). He'll talk excessively about the marriage, ex-wife, or divorce, frequently praise or badmouth his ex (badmouth, for sure), and spend more time with the ex than is necessary for children or polite friendship (not on your life - you're good to go there, but if he talks you into marrying him, the next item on his agenda is to take the kids away from me and make you a full time momma...What? He's too busy with work to be bothered taking care of his kids - that's why he wants to marry you.). It's OK if he displays these signs once in a while, but they should not occur frequently (define frequently... every day? Every other day?).
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Q: In your opinion, are most divorced men looking for another long-term relationship?
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A: Some divorced men, especially if the divorce is recent, may be more interested in having fun than in having a relationship (no, that happens with the other women/girls barely into puberty he befriends after he marries you). Unfortunately, they may not be aware of this, or if they are, they may not share it with you. Usually after being single for a couple of years (it's been more), the issues surrounding a man's divorce - and his grief about it - will resolve itself (yeah, once I die).
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Q: When it comes to dating divorced men, are there definite don'ts?
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A: Don't be afraid to ask questions. Find out if his divorce is final(yep), when he separated(Jan 2005), if he has children (two he claims - three he threw away), why his marriage ended (I think her name was Cheryl... or Elizabeth... or Dawn... or Kendra... Oh, I'm so confused), etc. Also, don't give too much too soon. Divorced men, especially if still divorcing or recently divorced, can be needy (watch it girls, he cries... a lot!). Never give more than you are getting. (Now that's funny!)
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To read the other side of the story, "How to Date a Divorced Woman." read Chelsea Kaplan's blog, "I'm Somebody's Mother?" It can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com.

Okay - that may have been a little bitter... a tad childish, but hey - it was fun, wasn't it? Thanks for playing. See you in the funny papers.
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Enjoy and In Joy
S

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pass the popcorn, please!