07 April 2008

Mate's Soul

On MSN.com today, I found this article:

Is This Your Soul Mate?
By Amanda May

You can find it here:
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Anywho – basically what she’s saying is you should know a person BEFORE you jump into bed with them. No? Really? Hmmm… What is this world coming to when you need to know them before you fight over a pillow and an equal share of the covers all night?
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Here are the questions to ask, according to Amanda (I do not dispute her claims here, just wanted to answer the questions for you... or rather, for myself... or, whatever. You know what I'm trying to say... write... whatever:
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Question #1: “If your company gave one-year paid sabbaticals, what would you do for that year?”
I would take one day at a time. Life is too short to plan a year vacation. Who knows what would/could happen in that year. On September 10th, I'd be willing to bet there were many people scheduling flights from their offices in the WTC.
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Honestly, who could answer such a question honestly? Maybe the question ought to be: “What would you like to do?”
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I would like to travel… but you never said anything about anybody giving any extra money, so unless I had a really, really good paying job, well… I guess the only travelling I would be doing would be with my favorite travel agents: Stephen King or Elizabeth Berg. Turn a page and escape to other worlds, other problems, and other adventures.
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Question #2: “Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?”
I suppose I would… but why would you like to be embarrassed with me? Can’t you do anything on your own?
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My most embarrassing moment involves an Oklahoma town gas station's restroom, a string of toilet paper, my pants and a room full of patrons buying gas and waiting for the one, workable restroom… You fill in the blanks. Let’s just say I cannot show my face there anymore…. Or my backside, for that matter.
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Question #3: “If your house were on fire, what’s the one thing you’d make sure to save?”
My a$$... and the a$$es of my children. But we covered this subject on a previous blog.
Here’s your assignment if you wish to accept it: Find the blog and read what belong-ings I would ‘save” from a fire.
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Question #4: “What’s the biggest misperception people have about you?”
That I am ignorant… or that I’m not ignorant.
That I like doing housework and other menial tasks.
That my head is as big as a melon… wait – which melon are you referring? You may be right.
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Question #5: “What’s the one life experience you want a do-over on?”
(oh, yes, she did! Miss Amanda ended her sentence in a preposition...)
I think I’d like to change the way I was born. I hear the water-birth is so much more of an enjoyable experience (than the slice ‘em/dice ‘em procedure Mom went through). If I’d only been born that way, maybe I would be a less/more ignorant person than you think I am.
I wonder if my Mom would be willing to re-do the whole thing so I could have my do-over.
Remember – my no-you-ain’ts neighbor done tole me to ‘go back to where I came from… or else.” I still think my Mom would object, don’t you?

Now it’s your turn. Are we “soul mates,” or what?
Brooklyn-based writer Amanda May has written for Redbook and other publications.

3 comments:

James A. Bowders said...

Question #1: “If your company gave one-year paid sabbaticals, what would you do for that year?” I would travel. For reasons of my own and to destinations of my choosing and I would travel mostly by motorcycle.

Question #2: “Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?” What again? Sure why not, wouldn’t be the first, won’t be the last.

Question #3: “If your house were on fire, what’s the one thing you’d make sure to save?” Only myself. Like my former spouses it is all replaceable.

Question #4: “What’s the biggest misperception people have about you?” I wouldn’t know. Maybe it is that they might feel I have absolutely no inclination that their perception of me is correct.

Question #5: “What’s the one life experience you want a do-over on?” I would not invade the Sudetenland, nor would I insist on a winter campaign into the plains of the Ukraine. Opps! That wasn’t me; I do not dwell in the past or wish for what could have been. I learn and I live on.

But what do I know?

Sandra Miller Linhart said...

My mother thinks the FIRST five questions needing answered would be (not necessarily in any order):
#1 - What's your name and was it given to you at birth (or did you steal it)?
#2 - Have you ever killed/tried to kill anyone?
#3 - Are you wanted by the FBI/CIA/DEA/local police or sheriff?
#4 - Are you married/engaged and if so, does your significant other carry a weapon?
#5 - Do you want fries with that?

Or, something like that. I may be off on one or two of them.
Enjoy your Monday.
S

James A. Bowders said...

I think my former spouses told me the answers to all these questions but I didn’t hear them because I was distracted by the shovel they carried.

You never truly know anyone until you divorce them.

But what do I know?

pass the popcorn, please!