24 October 2007

If I ran the world…

News would just be news:

No special (human) interest/emotional hostage material – that’s why we have ET.

I would make it illegal to report anything about any movie star or celebutard – unless they have died, or were in a horrible accident hanging on by a thread. And once they’ve died – report it and move on… How long has it been since we buried Anna Nicole? Other than that, I don’t care what drugs or sexual/party activities in which Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan/Britney Spears (fill in the blank-stare) is involved. And, I really truly couldn’t care less about their politics. - Oh, and publishing houses wouldn’t be allowed to publish any books written by celebutards or movie stars unless they know how to put a complete sentence together in a informative or entertaining way… without the help of a ghost writer. (Do I file Madonna’s children stories next to her SEX book in my home library, or what? Oh, never mind – I didn’t buy any books by Madonna.)

Sports tallies and information would be relegated to Sports channels. Sports aren’t news, they’re games.

Weather would be reported on the Weather Channel. Weather isn’t news. (Fire isn’t weather – blue skies are weather.)

And, the newscasters would look less like models and more like the people you trust.

There wouldn’t be the ad-lib chit-chat (Have you ever put the news on mute/cc? It actually says “ad-lib” when the talking heads are talking to each other’s head) between segments and I wouldn’t be able to tell what their politics were just by listening to their words and attitudes on what they report. Can we say “non-partisan” and “un-biased”? Additionally, I think I would try to stop them from trying to be funny… the jury is out on this one – sometimes they say something outrageous and makes my day.

If I ran the world, we wouldn’t hear the heart-wrenching stories on the news of ONE family in a million… who’ve “literally lost everything” – like no one else in any other state ever lost anything. We not only get to hear it… we get to hear it every 15 minutes… on every flipping news channel.

If I ran the world I would make credit cards illegal and expose them for what they truly are – legalized loan-sharking that’s crumbling our economy. Or at least make it illegal to charge interest on interest on interest… Same goes for variable interest rate home loans.

If I ran the world I would illegalize HMOs and Health Insurance. Enough of paying the middle guy to pay only a percentage of your medical bills, leaving you to pay the rest. That’s a great return on your investment. Not!

If I ran the world, animals wouldn’t be more important than children. And, American children wouldn’t be less important than children in third-world countries, even when it comes to movie stars adopting one for publicity… (animal or child). (American children wouldn’t be more important – just not less.)

If I ran the world, perverts and pedophiles wouldn’t be allowed to hide behind OUR (it's not just their, you know) first amendment rights. Non-U.S.-citizens wouldn’t hold more weight and have more rights in OUR U.S. courts and country than U.S. citizens.

If I ran the world, no one would be allowed to trample on someone else’s rights. No one would be abused or mistreated because of someone else’s actions or beliefs.

If I ran the world – there would be no drugs, no abuse and no violent crimes…
Everyone would be happy…
And then we all woke up!

1 comment:

Sandra Miller Linhart said...

celebutard - a celebrity who is (in)famous for nothing other than being a celebrity... esp. a debutant or child of a famous/rich person, with no real ideas, input or brain matter involved.

pass the popcorn, please!